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     KEYZINE: An e-zine for LEADERS:
   ABOUT THE PEOPLE PART OF BUSINESS
             Volume 101, October 2009
  Publisher: © Key Associates, 2009
              ISSN # 1545-8873
           http://www.mkkey.com/

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This Issue: On "Workplace Bullying"

In the 100th issue survey feedback, my readers convinced me
that KEYZINE should continue (thanks for your encouragement!)  
All is well with my health.  KEYZINE will continue as a Quarterly!  

Contents:

• What's Hot in Leadership
• Maintaining Yourself as a Leader
• Frequently Asked Questions from Leaders
• Educational Opportunities
• Useful Websites
• Articles/Publications
  

"All cruelty springs from weakness.”
           -- Seneca, ABC-AD65

"Those who can do. Those who can't, bully.”
           -- Bullyonline.org

"The truth is incontrovertible: malice may attack it, 
ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.”
           -- Winston Churchill

"Most organisations have a serial bully. It never ceases 
to amaze me how one person's divisive dysfunctional 
behaviour can permeate the entire organisation like a cancer.”
           -- Tim Field

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WHAT'S HOT IN LEADERSHIP
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ZERO TOLERANCE FOR BULLYING OR 
HARASSMENT.

TEACHING PEOPLE TO SAY "STOP" OR 
"NO" TO UNCIVIL CONDUCT.

BEING SENSITIVE TO THE EFFECTS OF FEAR 
AND INTIMIDATION TACTICS AT WORK.

NOT KILLING THE MESSENGER, WHEN 
EMPLOYEES BRING FORTH THE PERCEPTION 
OF BULLYING--PERSONALLY OR WITNESSED.

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MAINTAINING YOURSELF AS A LEADER
***************************************
Bullies terrorize workplaces.  Often the Bully holds 
a top position, and the bullied Targets are reluctant to 
complain.  They see no illegality or corporate policy that 
protects them, so they suffer in silence.  Many develop
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  Or if they come forth 
to complain, they are often labeled as troublemakers.  
Estimates are that as many as one-fourth of the workforce 
is bullied and 70% leave a job because of bullying.

The unwillingness to recognize and call out mistreatment 
of employees causes immense damage, in the losses 
of productivity, morale, and community--basically, 
a pathway of destruction has been plowed through 
your organization.  It hurts business in more ways 
than you could know.

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FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
************************************* 
"What is bullying?"

According to the Workplace Bullying and Trauma 
Institute, workplace bullying is "repeated, health-harming 
mistreatment, verbal abuse, or conduct which is threatening, 
humiliating, intimidating, or sabotage that interferes with 
work or some combination of the three."

Workplace bullying:

• Is driven by perpetrators' need to control the targeted individual(s).
• Is initiated by bullies who choose their targets, timing, location and methods.
• Escalates to involve others who side with the bully either voluntarily (or) through coercion.
• Undermines legitimate business interests when bullies' personal agendas take precedence over work itself.
• Is domestic violence at work where the abuser is on the payroll.

http://www.workplacebullying.org/targets/problem/definition.html

 

"What symptoms are we to look for in workplace bullies?"

Bullying is usually more psychological than physical.  Look for these qualities:

- Operates by power and control
- Strong need to control, dominate, subjugate
- Quickness to anger
- Addiction to aggressive behaviors and seeing other's behavior toward them as such
- Concern with preserving self-image
- Preys on weaker, more vulnerable victims
- Deliberate hostility or aggression toward the victim(s)
- Charismatic and charming at times
- Denial and projection
- Paranoia and victimhood
- Manipulative
- Lacking in insight, though often intelligent and cunning

The serial bully, often found to have a personality disorder, has
further extensive criteria.  See:
http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/serial.htm

 

"What about company policies?"

Unrecognized bullying drives people out of job and ruins 
the  quality of their lives.  Claims of "Going Postal" have 
been attributed to being the Target of bullying.

Policies pertaining to intolerance for harassment, hostility 
and intimidating work environment apply here.  A clear 
grievance process should be spelled out.

The organization should publish Codes of Conduct (including the 
Golden Rule) with consequences for infractions.

Every offense should be investigated in confidential 
interviews with open questions, the results fed back 
to the perpetrator, and when behavior is not impacted, 
be prepared to let them go.

 

"Can people be trained to reckon with bullying?  What do I tell them?"

Avoid being a target.  Take the bully off stage.  Stand up, look them on the eye, 
and with a firm tone of voice, say STOP.  Be assertive, not aggressive.  
For example:

"I don't mind your being mad, but I don't appreciate your calling me names."

Hold up your hand and say STOP.  "I would like to help you, 
but I cannot, if we continue in this unprofessional manner."

"Excuse me, have I done anything to offend you?  Please tell me 
what it is, so that we may work on it."

"That's it.  I've had enough.  If we cannot be civil in our communication, 
I will be forced to report this to my superiors."

Please see http://www.nujglasgow.org.uk/bullyingresponses.html 

 

EXERCISES AND ACTION ITEMS:

*  Establish a company policy that is lean--allowing 
grievances to be surfaced and resolved swiftly.  
Be sure that everyone knows that retaliation 
for filing a complaint is unacceptable.

*  Teach people to document instances--specific, 
behavioral examples with dates, circumstances, 
and witnesses.

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EDUCATIONAL OPPORTUNITIES
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HR tools, training, and techniques
http://hr.blr.com/HR-news/Health-Safety/Violence-in-Workplace/Stop-Bullies-Before-They-Do-Real-Damage/

Izzy offers a psychological solution to bullying
http://www.bullies2buddies.com/ 

Bullies Be Gone
http://www.bulliesbegoneblog.com/2009/10/04/stop-bullies-will-knowing-why-bullies-keep-abusing-us-help-us-stop-them/

Key Associates offers Mediation of Conflict, and training
for leaders in this skill.   Also courses on "Dealing with 
Difficult People" (and Customers) and "Harassment in the 
Workplace."  Contact keyassocs@mindspring.com. 

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OTHER USEFUL WEBSITES 
**************************************
A goldmine of insight on workplace bullying
http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/index.htm 

International bullying prevention association
http://www.stopbullyingworld.org/

Helping kids deal with bullies
http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/bullies.html
http://pbskids.org/itsmylife/friends/bullies/
http://www.ncpamd.com/Bullies.htm
http://www.bullybeware.com/

Former Keyzines on related topics:
Volume 7, October 2001 - Mediating Conflict
Volume 16, July 2002 - Dealing with Difficult People
Volume 36, March 2004 - Valuing Diversity
Volume 38, May 2004 - Cynicism
Volume 45, December 2004 - Driving Out Fear
Volume 46, January 2005 - Having Difficult Conversations
Volume 51, June 2005 - Harassment
Volume 65, August 2006 - On the Dark Side of Leadership
Volume 77, August 2007 - Constructive Confrontation
Volume 83, February 2008 - Toxic People
Volume 86, May 2008 - Civility
Volume 95, February 2009 - Learning to Say No 

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ARTICLES/PUBLICATIONS                              
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Bowey, Vaughn (Ed.) Workplace Violence: Issues, Trends, Strategies.
Willan Publishing (UK), 2005.

Cavaiola, Alan & Neil J. Lavender.  Toxic Coworkers: How to Deal
with Dysfunctional People on the Job.  New Harbinger Publications, 2000.

Daniel, Theresa.  Stop Bullying at Work: Strategies and Tools for HR
and Legal Professionals.  Society For Human Resource Management, 2009.

Davenport, Noa.  Mobbing: Emotional Abuse in the American Workplace. 
Civil Society Publishing, 1999.

Einersan, S. et al.  Bullying and Emotional Abuse in the Workplace:
International Perspectives in Research and Practice, Taylor & Francis, 2003.

Fox, Suzie & Paul E. Spector (Eds.) Counterproductive Work Behavior:
Investigations Of Actors And Targets.  American Psychological Assn, 2004.

Fromm, Eric. The Anatomy of Human Destructiveness.  Holt Paperbacks, 1992.

Futterman, Susan.  When You Work for a Bully: Assessing Your Options and Taking Action. 
Croce Publishing, 2004.

Kohut, Margaret R.  The Complete Guide to Understanding, Controlling,
and Stopping Bullies & Bullying at Work: A Complete Guide for Managers,
Supervisors, and Co-Workers.  Atlantic Publishing Company, 2008.

Menninger, Karl.  Man Against Himself.  Mariner Books, 1956.

Mueller, Robert.  Bullying Bosses: A Survivor's Guide: How to Transcend
the Illusion of the Interpersonal.  Bullying Bosses Pub, 2005.

Namie, Gary & Ruth Namie.  The Bully at Work: What You Can Do to
Stop the Hurt and Reclaim Your Dignity on the Job.  Sourcebooks, Inc., 2009.

Namie, Ruth & Mark Hughes.  Bullyproof Yourself at Work!: Personal Strategies
to Recognize and Stop the Hurt from Harassment.  Work Doctor, 1999.

Shapiro, David.  Psychotherapy of Neurotic Character.  Basic Books 1999.