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     KEYZINE: An e-zine for LEADERS:
   ABOUT THE PEOPLE PART OF BUSINESS
             Volume 104, July 2010
                   Summer Edition
  Publisher: © Key Associates, 2010
              ISSN # 1545-8873
           http://www.mkkey.com/

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This Issue: On "Love and Happiness"

Contents:

"Love cures people, both the ones who give it and 
the ones who receive it."
            -- Dr. Karl Menninger       

"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...it's 
about learning how to dance in the rain."
           -- Patricia T. Green

"Love is the condition in the human spirit so profound 
that it allows one to survive, and better than that, to thrive 
with passion, compassion and style."
           -- Maya Angelou  

"{4} Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does 
not boast, it is not proud. {5} It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, 
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. {6} Love 
does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. {7} It always 
protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 
{8} Love never fails..."
           -- 1 Corinthians 13

"Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute 
with love, grace and gratitude."
           -- Dennis Waitley

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WHAT'S HOT IN LEADERSHIP
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PASSION COMBINED WITH COMPASSION.  

POINTING YOUR HEART TOWARD THE PERSON 
WITH WHOM YOU ARE COMMUNICATING.  

SHEDDING THE CULTURE OF BLAME AND 
CULTIVATING JOY IN WORK.  

DEEDS NOT WORDS.  SMALL ACTS OF KINDNESS
FILL THE GIVER. 

REINVENTING WORK AS MORE THAN A JOB.

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MAINTAINING YOURSELF AS A LEADER
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As a Mother about to experience her only child's wedding, 
I am contemplating the meaning of love and the experience of 
happiness--which seem to be intertwined.  

What does this have to do with leadership and work?  
I see in so many workplaces, people rushing to retirement, 
weighed down by their jobs, riddled with conflict, underappreciated
--if they have a job at all.  The economic environment and other pressures   
amplify feelings of worry, loss, anxiety, detachment and depression.  
What I see lacking is relationship--to self, to the organization, 
to others, to meaningful work.

Let's reinvent the workplace and redefine work in these tough times--
as community, as service, as an expression of our caring, pride, 
and value.  It is the leader's task to pull the threads into a whole cloth.

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FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
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"Where do I begin?"

With your authentic self.  Martin Seligman (2002, 2006) described 
incorporating strengths such as humor, originality and generosity 
into everyday interactions with people.  This is the way to achieve happiness.

Display and cultivate within yourself kindness, tolerance, competence, 
interpersonal skills, a work ethic, and faith.  These are the vital ingredients 
of a gratifying and happy life.

Buddha would say, "Happiness never decreases by being shared." 

 

 

"How does it spread? "

First, understand the barriers to pride in your workplace.

Provide people meaningful work to do.  Focus on the skills, talents, 
and knowledge required in the job role, and how each person uniquely 
contributes to the overall mission.

Do not practice motivating from without (rewards, punishment)--
the true love of work comes from within (see Volume 15, June 2002 - Motivation).

Take time to dialogue about an employee's special 
strengths and how they can make a difference.  Then provide 
recognition, acknowledgement, and the freedom to do what 
they do well  (see Volume 62, May 2006 - Strength-based Organizations).

Encourage processes where people can develop high-quality 
relationships: teams, partners, clients, projects, celebration.  
WE'isms, not ME'isms. (see Volume 79, October 2007 - Employee 
Engagement)

 

"This is a bit Pollyana. We know there is negativity out there."

Of course--in leaders and followers alike.  
(see Volume 38, May 2004 - Cynicism; Volume 65, August 2006 - 
On the Dark Side of Leadership).

In a civilized organization, a leader must take the main role in developing, 
expressing, and defending civility and values (Max DePree, 1990). 
Good manners, civility (see Volume 86, May 2008 - Civility), respect 
for others--these are conditions for participation in the community.  With 
some degree of tolerance (remember, the irritants are trying to survive, 
be valued and recognized just like everyone else), and some reframing 
(this, too, shall pass), declare the expectation that civility is expected.  
And back it up.

 

EXERCISES AND ACTION ITEMS:

* Practice one new act of kindness daily.  Love is 
made nimble by practicing (Gayle Alexander's class, 
Spiritual Journeys for Women).

* Smile.  The feedback from your face will engender happiness.  
When you don't feel like Christmas, just start behaving in Christmas ways.

* What is your code of civility?  Where is the line crossed?
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EDUCATIONAL OPPORTUNITIES
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E-course, e-book, daily quotes
http://www.thehappyguy.com/ 

The Feeling Good Handbook by David D. Burns.

Many surveys on optimism and authentic happiness
http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx

Tests administered to students found that love correlated 
most closely with happiness, followed by the two other particularistic 
resources, services and status (Gordon, 1975).
http://www.mmpi-info.com/psychology-publications/love-happiness-money-relationships.html

Key Associates offers leadership training and 
team-building events.  Contact keyassocs@mindspring.com. 

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OTHER USEFUL WEBSITES 
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A Chief Happiness Officer announces international newsletter
http://positivesharing.com/ 

Many articles on happiness created through self-awareness
http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/

Work and happiness is the opposite of hopelessness and 
feelings of worthlessness--I love my work!
http://www.american.com/archive/2007/september-october-magazine-contents/i-love-my-work

Former Keyzines on related topics:
Volume 5, August 2001 - Spirit at Work
Volume 20, November 2002 - Speaking from the Heart
Volume 31, October 2003 - Optimism
Volume 35, February 2004 - Employees as Customers
Volume 40, July 2004 - Building Community
Volume 53, August 2005 - Relationship Building
Volume 54, September 2005 - Minding Manners
Volume 55, October 2005 - The World of Words
Volume 79, October 2007 - Employee Engagement
Volume 86, May 2008 - Civility
Volume 103, April 2010 - Creating a Spirit of Community in the Workplace
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ARTICLES/PUBLICATIONS                              
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Autry, James.  Love and Profit: The Art of Caring Leadership. 
Harper, 1992.  ( a video is also available)

DePree, Max.  Leadership is an Art.  Dell, 1990.

Fox, Matthew.  The Reinvention of Work: New Vision of 
Livelihood for Our Time.  HarperOne, 1995.

Gilbert, Daniel.  Stumbling On Happiness.  Vintage, 2007.

Keyes, Ken.  The Secrets of Happiness.  Axios Press, 2009.

Lama, Dalai.  The Art of Happiness, 10th Anniversary Edition: 
A Handbook for Living.  Riverhead Hardcover, 2009.

Lyubomirsky, Sonja.  The How of Happiness: A Scientific 
Approach to Getting the Life You Want.  Penguin Press, 2007.

Rath, Tom & Jim Harter.  Wellbeing: The Five Essential Elements.
Gallup Press, 2010. 

Robinson, Ken.  The Element: How Finding Your Passion 
Changes Everything.  Penguin, 2009.

Seligman, E.P.  Learned Optimism: How to Change Your 
Mind and Your Life.  Vintage, 2006.

Seligman, E.P.  Authentic Happiness : Using the New Positive 
Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment.
Free Press, 2002.

 

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