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     KEYZINE: An e-zine for LEADERS:
   ABOUT THE PEOPLE PART OF BUSINESS
             Volume 86, May 2008
  Publisher: © Key Associates, 2008
              ISSN # 1545-8873
           http://www.mkkey.com/

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This Issue: On "Civility"

Contents:

• What's Hot in Leadership
• Maintaining Yourself as a Leader
• Frequently Asked Questions from Leaders
• Educational Opportunities
• Useful Websites
• Articles/Publications
  

"Civility costs nothing and buys everything.”
                                       - Lady Mary Wortley Montagu (1689-1762)

"Civility is not something that automatically happens.  
Civil societies come about because people want them to.”
                              - Jimy Bise, Jr. in his blog

"Life is not so short but that there is always time enough 
for courtesy."
                              - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others."
                               - Confucius, c. 500 BC

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WHAT'S HOT IN LEADERSHIP
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MODELING COURTESY AND CIVILITY.

TELLING THE TRUTH WITH GRACE.

 

BEING CONSIDERATE IN CONVERSATION, 
ESPECIALLY IN LISTENING COMPLETELY 
TO THE ANSWERS.

QUELLING GOSSIP.

APOLOGIZING UPON MAKING A MISTAKE.

TREATING PEOPLE CORDIALLY (THAT IS, 
FROM THE HEART).

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MAINTAINING YOURSELF AS A LEADER
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The more admirable leaders I have known were 
adept at conferring respect, making you feel 
important, and giving consideration to your needs.  
Being with them was like standing in a pool of 
warmth.  Civility is good for everyone--employers, 
employees, customers, and the community.  It is a 
relationship skill that is learned, mainly by osmosis, 
but can also be formally trained.  Some of what I 
can claim came from several rounds of Charm School 
and "finishing" classes.

The opposite--incivility--is harmful and unprofitable 
to everyone.  Every act of it is destructive and etches 
division among people.  

Be constantly aware of others, and weave respect, 
tolerance, and consideration into that regard.  
Civility is a choice.

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FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
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What does civility mean?

The word means civilized conduct, a courtesy or 
politeness, or a polite act or expression.  The word 
"manners," is derived from the Latin word "hand," 
referring to how we handle relationships.  Being civil 
means being constantly aware of others and attending 
to the community in our everyday interactions.

How do you encourage or enforce civility?

At the core of "getting along" are RULES-- 
obligations and norms that, when shared, 
provide the foundation for strong, stable 
relationships and flourishing communities. 
Shared norms can create respectful, valued 
relationships, strengthen communication, and 
foster interpersonal and team collaboration. 
These rules of civility provide a sense of order 
and foster feelings of well-being in positive relationships.

Peggy Post (daughter of Emily Post) in
Emily Post's The Etiquette Advantage in Business: 
Personal Skills for Professional Success (2005)  and 
Letitia Baldridge in Letitia Baldrige's New Complete 
Guide to Executive Manners (1993) cover most 
conventions of civility, polite behavior and manners.  
See also Volume 54, September 2005 - Minding Manners.

Or you can form your own GROUP AGREEMENT, addressing 
known offenses, such as interrupting people (interrupting 
is the verbal equivalent of "shoving."), discounting people's 
ideas and treating them as though they don't matter, 
sending crabby e-mails and bullying co-workers.

The newest advance over the Golden Rule is the 
Platinum Rule: "Do unto others, as they would like 
to be treated."

Is it possible to disagree in a civilized fashion?

* Have a conversation about what it means to be civil.

* Audit your actions:

Key Associates offers leadership training, 
including a  "Charm School" on "Professionalism."
Call for customized training packages: 1-888-655-3901.
http://www.mkkey.com/courses.htm

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OTHER USEFUL WEBSITES 
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Institute in government to build civility
http://www.instituteforcivility.org/?ref=google&gclid=COq8xYv0xpMCFQLBsgodQ2C-CQ

Tips on how to achieve civility in business
http://ezinearticles.com/?Strategic-Business-Tips-On-How-To-Achieve-Civility-In-Todays-Workplace&id=481520

The unwritten rules of civility
http://www.entrepreneur.com/management/officecultureexpertilenewasserman/article185606.html