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      KEYZINE: An e-zine for LEADERS:
     ABOUT THE PEOPLE PART OF BUSINESS
                 Volume 45, December 2004
    Publisher: © Key Associates, 2004
              ISSN # 1545-8873
           http://www.mkkey.com

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This Issue: On "Driving Out Fear"

This is a monthly electronic magazine for anyone
who wants to be a better leader, coach, facilitator,
or simply, to tune up their people skills. It is a
complimentary publication, devoted to the next
evolution of Quality Thinking.

View Earlier Issues

Contents:

What's Hot in Leadership
Maintaining Yourself as a Leader
Frequently Asked Questions from Leaders
Educational Opportunities
Useful Websites
Articles/Publications

"Man is not fully conditioned and determined
but rather he determines himself whether he
gives in to conditions or stands up to them."
-- Victor Frankl

"Every time we act, even with our fear,
we make room for others to do the same.
Courage is contagious."
-- Lappe' and Perkins

"Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are
princesses who are waiting to see us act,
just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps
everything that frightens us is, in its deepest
essence, something helpless that wants
our love."
-- Rainer Maria Rilke

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather
the judgment that something is more important
than fear."
--Ambrose Redmoon

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WHAT'S HOT IN LEADERSHIP
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DRIVING FEAR FROM THE WORKPLACE.

REPLACING FEAR TACTICS WITH TRUST-
BUILDING STRATEGIES.

OPENLY VOICING CONCERNS, QUESTIONS,
CONFLICTS--DISCUSSING THE UN-DISCUSSABLES.

SPEAKING AND ACTING THE TRUTH.

CREATING AN ENVIRONMENT OF
PSYCHOLOGICAL SAFETY.

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MAINTAINING YOURSELF AS A LEADER
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It is easy to fear someone who holds our
destiny in their hands. Leaders in positions of
power are scanned by followers for signs of
trustworthiness or lack of it. Look at all the failings
of prominent leaders of late. Is it any wonder that
reports cite that "Americans trust no one."

To create trust, you have to drive out fear. Be
aware of your gray behaviors (see checklist below).
Notice your own fears (which are communicated).
Learn to lead without power. Not to control collections
of human resources, but to create dynamic communities
of free people (Max De Pree, 1997).

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FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
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Isn't avoidance the common approach to fear?

Yes, but not the healthiest. The most frequent
response to danger or conflict that I have observed is
the deer-in-the-headlights response--FREEZING.
Fear stifles creativity, learning, innovation, involvement.
How helpful is this to people and organizations?

Fear may mean danger, but it can also be a signal
that there is a lesson at hand. Susan Jeffers teaches
us to lean into the fear and learn. Lappe' and Perkins
coach us to shift from "fear means stop," to "fear
means listen closely."

Our fears are mostly social--our deepest fear being
isolation, losing one another, disconnection. What
is the real possibility that we will be set out from society?

How do you change a culture of fear?

Style of communication influences whether and how
change occurs. If communication is guarded, secretive,
discounting, discrediting, threatening--mistrust, loss of
pride and fear are the result. Competition ensues.
No learning occurs here. This is a CLOSED
COMMUNICATION loop.

If, on the other hand, COMMUNICATION is OPEN,
self-disclosing, active listening with intent to learn, true
dialogue--trust, risk-taking, and collaboration are the result.
And a genuine commitment to learning.

If fear and mistrust are entrenched, many repeated
loops of open communication will be required before
people start believing you.

I am not an aggressive, abusive manager.
What do employees have to fear?

Kathy Ryan's audit on fear-causing behaviors
arranges them on a continuum of light gray to
dark gray, abrasive to abusive.

1. Silence LIGHT GRAY
2. Glaring eye contact: "the look"
3. Brevity or abruptness
4. Snubbing or ignoring people
5. Insults or put-downs
6. Blaming, discrediting, or discounting
7. An aggressive, controlling manner
8. Threats about the job
9. Yelling or shouting
10. Angry outbursts or loss of control
11. Physical threats DARK GRAY

These can range from low to high intensity, making even
subtle gray behaviors very threatening. Ambiguous
behaviors can be as threatening as abrasive ones.
Check yourself. (Ryan & Oestreich, 1998, p. 59-66).

Are there other behaviors leaders should cultivate,
to drive out fear ?

* The extent to which you are seen as human and vulnerable (authentic).
* Demonstration of acceptance of individual differences.
* The extent to which others are involved in decisions (collaboration).
* Sensitivity to the needs of others.
* Willingness to address the sacred cows, the "un-discussables."
* Consistency of behavior--"walking the talk."
* Valuing criticism, never "killing the messenger" of bad news.
* Communication positive intent and nurturing a safe environment through the use of positive norms.

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EDUCATIONAL OPPORTUNITIES
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Fear Means Go workshops
http://www.uhavethepower.org/workshops.html

Keyzines on:
Volume 7, October 2001 - Mediating Conflict
Volume 13, April 2002 - Trust & Integrity
Volume 28, July 2003 - Pride in Work
Volume 30, September 2003 - Effective Listening
Volume 36, March 2004 - Valuing Diversity

Nice piece on Fear, Trust and Teams
http://www.csupomona.edu/~sciman/steve/articles/trustnteams.pdf

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OTHER USEFUL WEBSITES
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More quotes on Fear
http://www.cyber-nation.com/victory/quotations/subjects/quotes_fear.html

Games for Mastering Fear
http://www.neurosemantics.com/Books/Review_Fear_Games.htm

Change Management Toolbook
http://www.change-management-toolbook.com/

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ARTICLES/PUBLICATIONS
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Books are linked to Amazon.com descriptions:

De Pree, Max. Leading Without Power: Finding
Hope in Serving Community. (1997)